Not Quite According To Plan
by Basched
Summary: Becker's family Christmas doesn't go the way he wanted it to when someone unexpected shows up.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: This was my secret santa story I wrote for Ebony Feather on Primeval_Denial on LJ. Forgot to post it here and well I'm doing so now, along with so many others I've forgotten! XD Beta'd by FredBassett. Mistakes are all my own though. _

* * *

Becker was not fond of the Christmas family gatherings.

He didn't hate his family, far from it. He loved them all but it was always at Christmas, when every member of the Becker clan crowded together under one roof, that tended to put him on edge.

His parents, his brothers and sisters, his uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents (and all the kids) were lovely people every other time of the year—if and when he saw them—but Christmas tended to be the worst.

Becker would arrive at his parent's house with presents and be in reasonably good cheer, at first. He would greet all of his relatives with hugs or handshakes and after all the kids grabbed their gifts off him and ran away, that was when it changed. It was in that moment, when the screaming of the children faded into the living room, that all the questions and interrogations begun.

Becker could never talk to them about his life and what he did now. No one knew what he did for a living, and he certainly couldn't tell them, even after Convergence. As for his social life, well… it wasn't the same after Sarah died.

It took him a while to get over losing her and thankfully his folks had supported him in that, but now Becker never let anyone get as close to him as she had. He lost himself in his work, only joining those on his team for drinks occasionally down the pub afterwards. He met a couple of women and became physically intimate with them, but nothing ever progressed into anything serious. Becker's life was his work. His life was the ARC, his team and his friends. He was always the last member of his team to leave the facility at night and the first to show up the next day. The ARC occupied every minute and second of his life, when he wasn't sleeping.

So what could he tell his family?

Whilst his mother would bicker on about Becker being the only one of her children not giving her grandkids, the situation was constantly made worse when all his siblings and cousins rubbed his face in that fact. They loved doing it, especially as Becker was the youngest out of them. They had to keep boasting and showing off the wonders of their children and their achievements, along with how well they were doing in their own jobs. They did it all the time and never really noticed how much it angered and frustrated him.

This year, so far, was no different. He'd been there for an hour and already every single one of his sisters and brothers and cousins babbled on endlessly about what their children were doing and they all chipped in with their own say about why Becker was not yet married, what he was doing wrong and what he needed to do to put it right. Becker had bit his tongue to prevent himself from lashing back at them, yelling or making a scene in front of the kids.

This year, he had come up with a plan which would get them off his back. He hoped.

As most of the male members of the 'clan' sat in the living room, watching telly, drinking and yelling at the kids to behave, the women were in the kitchen preparing the dinner, which wouldn't be ready until the evening because of the two massive turkeys and ridiculous amounts of vegetables and varieties of potatoes that needed doing. Becker's eldest sister Josie was yelling her at her two teens to lay the tables, whilst his nan and mum were trying to instruct the others on exactly how things should be done. The noise of their voices was deafening.

"Mum?" Becker had to raise his voice and repeat himself several times before the din of the kitchen died down to low levels. "Mum… can you set another place at the table, tonight?"

"Why?"

"I've… I've invited a friend along. I hope that's okay."

There was a startled clanging of pots and utensils and seven sets of wide surprised eyes focused upon him. The silence was instant after that and it dragged on for longer than Becker liked before his mum found the voice to speak.

"Who are you inviting?" Although only his mum asked the question, Becker could somehow hear in his head all of them chorusing at the same time.

"Someone from work."

"Is this… is this a special someone from work, Hilary?" asked Nan, reaching for the brandy on the side and pouring a hefty dose into a tumbler. She handed it to Becker and then poured one for herself, ignoring the brief disapproving looks from her daughters and grandchildren.

"Er, yes."

There were smiles. The grins on all of their faces were as if this was the best piece of news and gossip ever. His sister Carrie ran off into the living room and soon the whole kitchen was packed with those curious about this impending new visitor. His dad was nudging him in the ribs whilst his two brothers whacked him on the back in appreciation.

"Well done, little brother! It's about time!"

"Is she hot?"

"Well… er…. she's… beautiful, yeah." Becker choked a little as he received some hugs and more whacks on his back, but then he looked at the clock. It was almost 1pm, they'll find out soon enough.

"You're really involved with someone?" His mum piqued up, tears swelling up in her eyes. "Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure!"

"You're not making this up, are you? You're not doing this just to make us all happy are you?"

"Jesus, Mum! No! We're very much… well there's definitely something going on. We've known each other for over two years and we're moving forward, it's new so we're seeing how things progress."

"How come you've never told us about this woman, Hills?" asked one of his brothers. "Hmm? What's she like?"

Becker went to open his mouth to reply when the doorbell went.

He had never felt such tension in this household as it was now. If it was possible his mum's smile beamed like a 1,000 watt bulb and she clapped her hands as one of the children yelled that they would answer it. Like a swarm all the rest of the family rushed to see who would be at the door.

Becker's view was blocked so he couldn't see his sister's daughter take several attempts to pull open the door.

"Hello." Georgia's sweet voice might have sounded innocent to some people, but this six year old was not to be trifled with. Becker's shins had taken the brunt of her tantrums plenty of times before. "Can I help you?"

"Hi. Yeah. Is this the Becker residence?"

_What?!_ Becker felt the cold dread of panic rise up in his chest before it gagged horribly in his throat at the sound of that voice. He saw all his family looking at him and they were just as surprised as he was. The teens were trying hard not to snigger.

"Yes this is the Becker residence. I'm Georgia. Are you Uncle Hilary's friend?"

"Yeah, yeah I am. Is he in?"

Georgia mumbled something and then at the top of her voice, screamed as only a child could scream.

"UNCLE HILARY! THERE'S A **_MAN_** HERE TO SEE YOU!"

His family parted like the red sea and Becker could finally see who was at the front door. Sure enough, there was his friend, Matt Anderson standing outside, looking extremely bewildered and unsure, holding a bottle of wine in his hand.

"Er… hi. Did I come at a bad time?"

Oh god. This is was not how it was supposed to go.

* * *

He wasn't sure what to do.

Matt sat in the Becker's living room, being stared at by seven men and ten children, whilst from the kitchen the raised voices of the women and Becker's clear distress could be easily heard.

"Why didn't you tell us you were gay, sweetheart?"

"Mum! I didn't tell you I was gay, because I'm not gay!"

"There is a man sitting in our lounge, love. You invited a man."

"He has a name, Nan. His name is Matt."

"Hilary, it's all right, you've got nothing to worry or be ashamed about! He's gorgeous and oh my God… he's Irish! His accent is so sexy!"

"Haley! He's my best mate! We're not sleeping together!"

"Oh you should!"

"What? Haley, what the hell is wrong with you? I'm not sleeping-!"

"Your sister is right, Hilary… there's nothing to be ashamed about being attracted to another man, or if you want to sleep with him, your friend is very dishy!"

"MUM!"

This was beyond awkward and it had been only half an hour since he had arrived.

Matt really wished he hadn't come along.

It wasn't that he disliked these people, it was just that he didn't know them and he definitely felt like he was being judged. They were still staring, trying to get a sense of him without asking questions or talking to him and such silent treatment was greatly unnerving. He fidgeted a little on the footstool he was sitting on and tried to smile. The smile ended up being a very uncomfortable grimace, which in itself was weird because he was usually the epitome of cool in situations like this.

Carnivorous dinosaurs on the run? Pah! Trapped in prehistoric earth with volcanoes erupting around him? What was there to worry about? Future Predators inches away from tearing off his face? No problem!

This?

As he sat by the Christmas tree, still clutching at the bottle of wine, six young children, from the age of three to nine, were sitting by his feet starring up at him as if he was some kind of alien. Their wide unblinking eyes were creepy and off-putting and one child was chewing on their thumb, drool seeping down their hand. It was gross.

It was clear that the kids had all been told to keep quiet, to not say a word or ask anything of 'Uncle Hilary's friend' and it was paining them. Children were always so curious and they wanted to know everything, they wanted to ask him questions but couldn't and their restraint was just as painful to watch.

The other four 'children' in the room were teenagers. Three boys and one girl, fourteen to seventeen years old, and they were trying not to laugh and so were two of Becker's cousins. Teens tended to love it when family arguments (that didn't involve them) occurred. The four were joined by another two girls and then they all began to whisper, glare and laugh, enjoying this tension and their Uncle's discomfort.

Thankfully Becker's granddad passed Matt a shot of whisky and patted him gently on the back before pouring one for himself.

"There you go, lad. This will help."

The two of them downed the shots quickly.

"Thanks." Matt handed back the glass.

The whisky helped to relieve some of the anxiety within Matt, but not all. Matt again saw all the eyes staring at him and so he checked his mobile, hoping and wishing that at any second now, the ARC would call him and he could escape on a mission.

The Beckers were an extremely large family. There were so many people crammed into this house, but despite what Becker was going through, it was clear to Matt that they were a very loving family.

Matt had never had that. For most of his life, Matt was made to believe that emotions and sentiment got you killed and that survival was everything. Survival was paramount, not your family. Family were distractions.

Being around these people and the children—not to mention the shockingly creepy, bright decorations and lights strewn about the place— did freak him out but at the same time they made him extremely envious of what Becker had. This was supposed to be the norm, everyone in this time had families so he was the odd one out here.

Attachments and relationships were not his area of expertise.

"Stop being silly, son!" Becker's mum's raised voice broke everyone's concentration. They turned away from Matt and looked towards the kitchen. "It's okay that you're homosexual!"

Matt rubbed wearily at his face.

This was more than awkward.

Becker's granddad handed him another shot of whisky. Matt thanked the old man and drained the glass as quickly as possible. The burn of the whisky was good for a second or two, the woody taste deliciously scorched his tongue, but it did nothing to alleviate the guilt he was feeling. Becker had not been expecting him to turn up and because Matt had, he was getting a new and very different kind of grief, one that he didn't deserve, surely.

The commotion in the kitchen died down a little and the conversation became much more difficult to make out, which was probably for the best. Matt really didn't want to hear what Becker and his mum were discussing.

The minutes wore on and as a result the children were getting edgy bored and frustrated and so was Matt, so one of the teens put the television back on for them and thankfully the cartoons gained their attention. It also distracted Matt and soon he was gawping in wonder at the telly just like the children were.

He didn't have a television at his place, he wasn't that worried about it. Sure he had been to the cinema and watched some programmes round at Connor and Abby's place, but now as he sank off the stool and onto the floor next to the kids, Matt was amazed and entranced at these cartoon ninja rabbits. It was utterly bizarre. He had never seen anything like this before and now, just like the children, he was in absolute awe. His mouth even hung open a little

Becker's situation and his plights were utterly forgotten, the rabbits were much more interesting, until his friend's voice yelled for all to hear.

"Fine! If that's what it will take!"

Everything happened so quickly.

Matt turned away from the television as Becker stormed into the lounge. The children scrambled out of the way as Becker approached Matt and snatched the bottle of wine from his hand. Then, without warning, Matt was pulled to his feet and he felt his friend's hands cup his face. Becker's mouth pressed upon his.

He heard the gasps from all in the room.

Matt's body tensed. His hands didn't know what to do for a moment but ended up clinging to Becker's hips as Becker kissed him forcefully and hard. Becker's tongue pushed opened Matt's lips and plunged into his mouth to toy harshly with Matt's own. Becker's grip was dominant and forceful as was his tongue, it was an angry kiss, but as soon as one of Becker's hands slipped down to grasp the back of Matt's neck, the tips of his fingers lightly brushing at Matt's hair line, Matt's body shook and his legs involuntarily wobbled. He almost collapsed under the sheer intensity of it all and when a pleasurable warmth grew in his groin, the kiss became more enjoyable. Matt gripped harder at Becker's sides and went to respond, to gain some control over the kiss but Becker ended it too quickly by pulling away sharply, his teeth biting hard on Matt's bottom lip as he did so.

Matt couldn't breathe. His eyes were stinging with shock as he looked at Becker, seeing the red angry flush on his face and the heaving pants of his chest as he tried to breathe as well. Matt felt his whole head spin and he touched at his swollen wet lips, not entirely believing that Becker had just kissed him and that he had liked it.

Matt blinked. Becker backed away from him in a daze and shock of his own and then he turned to look around at his family. For a brief few seconds, Becker himself was stunned at what he had just done, he was lost, turning in a circle a couple of times in an almost intoxicated inebriation. No one in the entire room could say a thing and that lack of response snapped Becker out of his stupor. His face was red, flustered with anger.

"There! Are we all happy now?" Becker yelled. He still got no response, except startled murmurs from the younger kids who clearly didn't understand what was going on. He seemed to calm a little for their sake but shot daggered glares at everyone else. "You all think I'm gay? Fine! Think that! It might shut you up!"

Matt blinked again, several times in fact, and when he was able to focus, Becker wasn't in the room and he was the centre of attention once again. He wouldn't have minded if they all started to ask him questions, if they said something, but the silence and the starring caused him to say the first thing that entered his head.

"Wow. He really knows how to kiss."

* * *

Becker wasn't entirely sure what he had done.

Well… he was. He had just stuck his tongue down his best friend's throat and snogged him in front of his _entire_ family. He wasn't sure how he was going to fix this. What was he going to say to Matt?

Becker's mind was in a chaotic twirl and he could feel his heart thumping in his chest like it was battling to break out. Becker had quite simply snapped and behaved like one of his nieces or nephews having a tantrum instead of keeping a level head. He had lost all composure and stormed up the stairs to shut himself away in one of the spare rooms.

How childish was that?

How was it that his parents and everyone he was related to could reduce him to this? He was the Head of Security for the ARC for crying out loud! He had been in the army and been in far worse situations than this! He also didn't take shit from anyone so why did he take it from them?

He had made an utter fool of himself and Becker realised that he had also left Matt downstairs alone with the vultures. Becker paced back and forth a few times, itching to punch the wall or punch anything for his stupidity, but eventually he turned to head back down the stairs to save Matt.

He was stopped in his tracks when Matt found him first, poking his head around the door with that sheepish smile before cautiously walking in.

"Hey ya." Matt closed the door behind him and dug his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. "How you doing?"

Not well, that much was obvious.

"That was some kiss you gave me there, mate. Unexpected but it was very good."

"Huh?"

"You do remember kissing me, don't you? What you just did a few minutes ago?"

"I'm sorry."

"For that scorcher of a snog? You don't need to be!"

"Matt, don't joke. Not now."

"Sure. Sorry."

A part of Becker was desperately trying to forget that he'd done it, but another part of him couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. He still had the taste of whisky and Matt in his mouth, and a part of his face felt a little raw and tingly from where it had been scraped by the short bristles of Matt's goatee. The kiss was supposed to have shocked everyone which it did but it shocked him and possibly Matt more.

"Look, I didn't think." Becker said. "They weren't listening to what I was saying and kept on and on! They were treating me just like one of the kids! I snapped. I don't tend to think or be rational when they're like that. They drive me mad. I love them but they do drive me…fucking mad!"

Matt didn't say anything, he just bobbed his head in understanding.

"Kissing you was a bit desperate and damn, this feels awkward."

Again Matt said nothing and but waved his hand in a dismissive gesture, as if to say Becker wasn't to worry about it.

But Becker did worry about it

He couldn't calm down, he couldn't find the control he usually had when dealing with the anomalies and the creatures and he continued to pace the room, pulling at his hair and kicking at the furniture as he passed them. After what seemed like an hour had passed, Matt stood in Becker's path and stopped his mad pacing.

"What _are _you doing here, Matt?" Becker blurted out the question rather suddenly. "I had invited Jess; she was supposed to be my date!"

Matt was the calm and collected one. Most of the time he had a level head and held a perfect poker face, void of emotions, and now he sighed as if everything was all hunky dory, but there was something in his stance and in his eyes that belied that.

"Yeah, about that." Matt scratched the back of his neck and smiled nervously. Thankful that Becker had finally stopped his dizzying pacing, he moved out of Becker's way and leant wearily against the wall. "She can't make it."

Becker slumped down onto the bed and groaned, covering his face in his hands. He yelled into his palms which muffled most of it, before he forced a false smile back at Matt.

"That much is obvious." Becker asked. "So what happened?"

"Beta team are not back from their mission yet. The herd of Ornithomimus are causing them some grief and, well, Jess had to stay to help them out, co-ordinate things as only she can. She felt bad about abandoning you and said I was the 'perfect choice to send in her stead.'"

Matt was always able to reassure people, even if he wasn't himself. That explanation for Jess' absence was certainly reassuring and very Jess, she wouldn't abandon Beta team if she could help.

"That's fine." Becker nodded approvingly. "Beta team need her more right now. Though I'm puzzled as to how she managed to get you to come along. You… you don't tend to join in on festive holidays."

"I couldn't escape from her." Matt shrugged. "And apparently spending Christmas on my own wasn't in the spirit of things. I tried to say I don't like Christmas and I didn't want to impose on you and your family, well, she didn't like that answer, so she forced me to take her place. She wagged her finger at me. A lot."

"You don't like Christmas?"

_You kissed your best friend and that's what you're focusing on?_

Matt shook his head and thankfully continued the conversation away from the kiss.

"How can I? I grew up in a time where there was no such thing. You live through what I've lived through and you know there isn't any All Mighty to save you or help you. The creatures weren't going to stop killing you just because some holy guy was supposedly born on that day. We didn't celebrate birthdays and we certainly didn't give presents because there was nothing to give! Surviving was all that mattered. Surviving the day and the next and the one after that, that's all it was. When I came here and I experienced my 'first' Christmas, I dunno… it felt beyond mental. It was weird and creepy. Still is."

Becker was finding it really hard to disagree with that last comment. Weird and creepy.

Every year he failed to feel the spirit of Christmas like he did when he was a child. When you were young it was so exciting and magical. You believed in everything then and it was something you always looked forward to. Christmas felt more like an obligation for him now, a duty and a painful and costly one at that. He never looked forward to it.

But the thought of Matt not even experiencing that didn't feel right. It wasn't right that he didn't even celebrate his birthday. Matt never had the childhood he would have if he was born in this time.

"So you _really_ don't like Christmas? You hate it that much?"

Matt shrugged his shoulders and a sly and slightly grossed out smile spread across his face. Becker could sense that Matt was going to rant about exactly why. It seemed that he needed to.

Sure enough, his friend inhaled deeply, sank down onto the bed next to Becker and began to talk, as if his life depended on it.

"First off, I've tried, Becker. I've tried to feel what so many others feel about it. Jess loves this holiday and she's so hyper over it! So is Connor! But I can't be comfortable around it! The concept is… insane to me! I mean, forget about the religious side of this holiday, which I believe was actually pagan not Christian to begin with! But why does everyone believe in a mystical figure that was invented by a soft drink company in the first place? Why do grown men dress up as this guy and have children sit on their laps? Why is there the need to cut down so many trees and decorate them and then leave them to die? And what about this strange obsession with this stuff you call Christmas pudding, which you pour brandy over and set it alight?" Matt shuddered. "You don't do that to brandy, Becker. You drink it! Also there's this pressure of media advertising saying you _have_ to buy this and get that! Spend! Spend! Spend! Everyone conforms to this crazy idea that you have to spend all your money on stuff, spoil kids rotten and if you don't you're some kind of miserable bastard and a humbug! Oh, you don't have money to get these gifts? Don't worry get it all on credit and get yerselves in serious debt! That's really sensible! I don't understand how it's supposed to be the time of being good to your fellow man, because Christmas, to me is all so hypocritical and commercial! I don't like it! Also the carol singers? They really fucking freak me out."

Becker was stunned. That was some rant and he had never seen Matt so on edge before. He didn't know what to say.

"You might not want to stick around when my Aunt Phillipa starts singing then."

Matt laughed.

"Very funny."

"So you really detest Christmas that much?"

"Becker, I can't stand it."

"So you've never had a proper family Christmas? At all?"

Matt shook his head.

"Never wanted one."

Becker felt ridiculous, he was being an utter twit thinking his family were such a burden. Matt was a man who had grown up in a post-apocalyptic world, in a time where all of this Christmas stuff didn't exist and survival was a daily struggle. No wonder he felt the way he did, but Matt being Matt, he never said anything about it. All the years Becker had known him, Matt never once accepted invitations to Christmas or any of the other holidays. He shied away from his birthdays and kept to a lifestyle he was more comfortable with. It was only at the ARC that Matt was ever content, when he was with his mates, working.

But even at the ARC, when Jess, Emily and Connor and some of the other staff members had decorated the workplace with tinsel, assorted decorations and singing Santas, Becker could only imagine how restrained Matt had been with it all. Matt's lack of enthusiasm and eerie quietness during those times had been a bit odd then, but now it all made sense. It also made last year's incident with the carol singers on one of the missions, totally understandable. Becker patted his friend's back, hoping to ease him down a bit.

Sure enough, it did. Matt's smile broadened and he became more relaxed.

"I know I'm not Jess, or anyone who really loves Christmas." Matt said "But it's just how I feel. I know that my being here is not quite according to plan so if you want I could have a word with your folks. I can set things right and get them to ease off on ya. "

Becker shook his head. "You don't need to do that."

"Yeah… yeah I do."

Becker had originally invited Jess along and the two of them agreed to pretend to be 'together' for his family. The idea was childish sure, but it was the only way Becker thought of getting through Christmas without having a serious breakdown. When Matt had turned up instead, when he kissed his friend, he thought everything had gone to pot. Now Becker was glad that Matt had come along. It put his petty problems into perspective.

Becker rose from the bed and took in some deep huge breaths. He ran his hands through his hair to smooth it out and headed for the door. He paused with his hand just about to grab the handle.

"I'm going to go down there and face them." Becker stated. "I'm not going to get angry or become pissed off. I'm going to be calm and sensible and reasonable. Yeah?"

Matt smiled.

"Well… I'm here for you, mate."

"No. You don't have to stay. If Christmas makes you uncomfortable, you really don't have to be here."

"Despite what I think about this time's festive holidays, I'm sticking with you, Becker and we can tell your family the truth, together."

Becker frowned. "All of it?"

Matt playfully clipped his friend around the back of his head.

"Well obviously not the part about me being from the future."

"And you hating Christmas."

"And me hating Christmas… sure. Just the part about us working together and being good friends is fine… and as long as there's no carol singing."

"Sure! I promise, no carol singing and definitely no more kissing either."

"Good."

When the door opened and the many voices of the people downstairs blared back into existence, the two of them stood on the landing, feeling anything but confident.

Matt placed his hand on Becker's shoulder again.

"Whatever happens, we'll get through this."


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Second part to my 2012 Primeval_Denial secret santa. _

* * *

How they got through it they didn't know, but it felt like a huge miracle.

For Matt, the whole day and evening was more gruelling than he had ever imagined. When they went back down stairs, Becker said his piece, both of them told what needed to be said but nothing further was said about the kiss in return. It wasn't mentioned—though the children did try—and the subject of whether the two of them were lovers or not wasn't brought up. It was very conveniently ignored or forgotten about and Becker's parents politely engaged Matt in different conversation, asking about his background and his life, to which he happily lied about with his set cover story.

He got to know all of the family. Becker helped him to remember their names and who was married to who and all the other details that were deemed relevant and while Matt thought them to be lovely people, the intensity of so many around him, of the loud buzz of voices, it unsettled him immensely. It did the same to Becker, who was also barely hanging onto his sanity

The massive house and decorations were a great assault on the senses. It had been since he arrived, but appeared to be ten times worse now he wasn't being stared at. Everything jingled and sparkled too much, he kept getting caught by the branches of the tree whenever he walked by it and Matt swore that a load of those sharp needles had fallen down the back of his shirt.

There was not a single place on the walls or anywhere in the house that wasn't decorated. Jess would have loved it here for it was very similar to how she decorated the ARC. Matt didn't dare move unless he had to, in case he was snagged by something or he activated the singing reindeer.

He tried not to drink too much, but Becker's grandparents did like plying him with the odd whisky, which made him go the toilet and that was extremely eerie, especially with the figures of Snowmen glaring at him from all angles. The first time he went into any of the bathrooms, he couldn't pee quick enough. He scrambled out of them in a near panic, but he couldn't escape Christmas. Even going outside for fresh air was no different as the neighbourhood and the gardens were equally dressed in glitz and shiny festive décor.

The people in this time were seriously nuts.

So for most of the day Matt stayed in the corner of the living room, keeping out of everyone's way. It didn't always work. Becker's sisters talked to him a lot and so did the kids and all he could do was smile and nod and pretend to understand what they were going on about. Thankfully Becker often came along and saved him and those moments when he stayed close, made things a little easier to cope with.

The food was amazing. Becker's mum was a great cook. It was so good that Matt tucked into several helpings, wishing he'd had this much food when he was growing up. He had never eaten like this before but again Matt couldn't enjoy it fully as the constant hubbub of conversation - the children's constant squabbling and screams - had him in a confused daze. He was made to pull crackers and read terrible jokes, he was forced to wear a pink paper hat and had to watch as a very good brandy was set alight over the Christmas pudding.

He despaired.

Though Becker throwing a sprout at him and starting a food fight amongst the children was hilarious and so was seeing him being scolded just like the kids.

"And you wonder why we nag you!" Becker's mum had clipped him round the back of his head. "Grow up, boy, and help the little ones tidy this lot up!"

Later the children were so hyped up on sugar, their laughing screams and energy had been endless and very loud. When they started singing it was even worse, because most of the adults joined in.

No carol singing!

The singing reindeer was set off again and that was the last straw for Matt.

Matt had to get out of there. He made up some excuse—a very unconvincing one about leaving his oven on— and because of the whisky he'd had been plied with he knew that he wasn't going to be driving home.

Becker offered to take him.

Saying goodbye to all of the clan was an ordeal and took a long time to do. Goodbye was never simple with so many people for no one could ever just say it and let them go. Becker rushed his relatives through it as much as possible and when Becker's car pulled up outside Matt's place, it was then they both finally relaxed.

Matt had never been more pleased to see his apartment and he couldn't help but grin. He had some beers in his fridge and he knew he could end this day on a high.

"Do you want to come in for a beer?" he asked, jerking his thumb towards the building.

Becker seemed to think about it for a moment. A beer after that hectic day was clearly a tempting offer, his tongue licked across his lips and one side of his mouth curled upwards in that crafty upward smirk he sometimes did. Matt wanted him to say yes but when that smirk vanished and Becker shook his head, he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

"Nah. I've still got to go back to my parents for Boxing Day, so I'm going home to get some sleep, plus I'm driving."

"No worries."

"But thanks. Thanks for everything."

"Not a problem. Thank you for helping me too. You're a real hero!"

Becker laughed.

"I'm a hero for saving you from the perils of Christmas?"

"Of course! You saved me thousands of times, especially from your niece."

"How are your shins?" Becker smirked again.

"They hurt still, she kicks really hard. But Becker, are you sure you don't want a beer?" Matt asked again.

"I'm sure."

"Okay then… 'night."

"Goodnight."

Matt wasn't sure if he had intentionally planned it, but it happened. He leaned over in the car and took them both by surprise when he pressed a light kiss against Becker's lips. His friend's recoil was instant and Becker jerked away back into the door. The look of shock and panic on Becker's face evoked a painful wrench in Matt's stomach, as in that instant he realised what he had done.

"Oh shit!" Matt flung open the passenger door, got out of the vehicle and went straight to the front of his apartment. He fumbled for his front door keys, but his hands were shaking and the keys dropped from his grasp. When he picked them up, he heard the sound of the car door slamming again.

Turning round, Becker was right behind him, very much in the same state he'd been in back in the spare room, rubbing his face and looking confused and shocked as hell.

"Matt! What… what was that? What…why did you….?"

"Shit! Sorry! I'm sorry!"

"You… you kissed me!"

"Yeah…well you kissed me first!"

_That's a mature fucking response!_

Matt was panicking now. Both of them were. Although it had only been a touch, a light brush of their mouths together and it had been done in the car, it had felt a heck of lot more embarrassing and weird than the kiss done in front of other people. It felt worse because it wasn't done out of anger to purposely shock anyone else or to prove a point.

It was a stupid, but hopeful reaction to Becker's kiss, and one that has quite possibly ruined a perfectly good friendship, because Becker really didn't know.

"You did that because… this wasn't a joke, was it?" Becker stammered, touching at his lips and frowning.

_Sort of. Kind of. Maybe. Oh shit was it?_

Matt was certain his face was contorting as he thought about it, for Becker was doing the same thing, copying him. Matt scratched the back of his head and tried to smile. Becker tried to smile too but all they did was stand there with discomforted grimaces on their faces. They also stood there for quite a while.

He was still waiting for an answer. It was an answer that Becker really should have known about after the years of knowing him.

"Matt?"

_Oh well._

Matt took some deep breaths.

"Okay! Well, you know how we told your family you weren't gay?" Becker nodded. "Er… I… er… am. Kind of."

_Kind of? Make up your bloody mind, you prick!_

"You're…you're gay?"

"Yup."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Becker turned away to lean against the car. Matt couldn't see his face or how he was taking it. However, the rigid stiffness of his entire body and the sound of deep, controlled breaths probably indicated that he wasn't taking it as well as Matt hoped.

"Look, when me and my dad came through the anomaly, I was eighteen years old. Never had sex in my life, because having any sex in my time was pretty dangerous and not something to risk your life over unless it was really necessary! I certainly never thought about it! Coming here was different, I guess I became aware of the possibilities and certain urges, but my dad told me that the mission was the only thing that mattered. I had to concentrate on saving the future. I wasn't to be distracted." Matt forced a grin. "It wasn't easy for me. When I finally did it, it just so happened to be with a guy. My first time was with a guy and although since then I have been with some women, I still prefer men. So…I'm gay! I honestly thought you knew."

Becker shook his head. He then began to pace up and down by the side of the car, clearly shocked by this news and, to Matt's dismay, angry. Becker's family had seemed more than okay with the whole gay thing and it frightened Matt just a little that Becker himself might not be.

"I know I don't openly declare it with a big 'I like fellas' sign strapped to my back but everyone at the ARC knows." Matt said, the fear straining in his voice as he tried to get Becker to stop pacing. "I thought you did too!"

"Well no! It's pretty damned clear I didn't know!" Becker's voice high pitched.

"How the bloody hell did you not know? Enough people were talking about it!"

Matt noticed the tendons in Becker's neck straining and his skin flushed a deeper red than before as Becker tried to restrain his temper and frustration whilst franticly pacing. His foot kicked the tyres on the car several times before Becker finally came to a halt in front of Matt.

"I didn't know because no one 'bloody' told me, you git! You didn't tell me! You didn't say a thing at my folks place! Not even after I kissed you! If the guys at the ARC were all talking about your sexuality, I didn't hear them! I'm your best mate, do you have any idea how it feels to be the last person to know this about you?"

"I can see you're pretty pissed off! Becker, I'm sorry! Okay?"

"So what, do you fancy me now because I kissed you? Or have you… always had a thing?"

"No! You're my friend! I don't think of you like that!"

"So you don't think I'm attractive?"

"Well, you do look like a horse's arse." Matt's attempt at humour got a sarcastic and uncomfortable grin from Becker. "I didn't mean-!"

"The kiss I gave you back at the house in no way made you have sexual feelings towards me? You don't want to… do things to me, do you?"

Becker was uncomfortable. Becker hated him, he was disgusted. Matt swallowed and it felt painful to do so. He couldn't handle the thought of his friend hating him for this.

"I don't have feelings towards you," he said, the words feeling sour in his mouth.

"Good!"

_Good? Was that all he had to say?_

Becker was scowling again, which meant that Matt was.

_Damn it._

Matt tried to smile, but he felt utterly stupid and foolish. This whole day had been nothing but a series of uncomfortable and embarrassing events and it was certainly not how he pictured it ending. This was not how Matt ever imagined things being between him and Becker.

Ever since he'd met him, Matt had considered him a good friend—okay, Matt had checked him out a couple of times—but he seriously hadn't felt anything else towards him, at least not until Becker kissed him. He wasn't going to admit that he had liked it a lot when they'd kissed and that he wished Becker hadn't stopped. Matt wouldn't dare admit that especially seeing how his best friend was behaving.

"So… is this is how it's going to be? Do you think differently towards me because of who I am?" he stammered.

Becker didn't respond. His mouth opened a couple of times as if he wanted to answer but the words were stymied by his emotions. He didn't say anything for quite a while and so the painful silence lingered on. Matt couldn't take it any more.

He needed a drink.

This was another reason to add to his list of why he hated Christmas.

Matt grabbed his front door keys tightly in his hand, squeezing them so that the cut of the keys dug into his palm. Becker wasn't going to say anything and such lack of response and his reactions made everything clear. He was not okay with Matt being gay.

He was just like a lot of the other men Matt had known in the military.

Matt turned away and went to open the door to his apartment. The key wasn't quite in the lock when firm hands grabbed hold of his shoulders and spun him round. Caught by surprise, Matt barely had time to breathe as once again as Becker's hands cupped his face and his mouth kissed him furiously, desperately and hard.

Matt stumbled, the door smacked into his back and Becker's body shoved hard against him as he forced the kiss further. He coaxed Matt to respond, one of his hands dropped to the back of Matt's neck… the tickling scrape of his fingers against his skin again made Matt moan and for a moment, Matt's allowed his own hands to drift down and latch on to Becker's backside.

It felt so good. It felt amazing as Becker slowly sunk more into the kiss but Matt couldn't let it go on. Why was Becker doing this after making such a scene to his family about not being gay?

He pushed Becker away, instantly regretting it as he did so. He tried to breathe again but all he could do was stare up at his friend, gasping for air. What the hell was going on?

Becker was just as confused. He looked utterly lost and scared at what he just done and even now he couldn't move. Matt pressed his hands to Becker's chest to push him away, but instead they stayed there, feeling the rapid beating of Becker's heart.

_Shit._

"No. " Matt pushed Becker away finally, but when Becker moved back in, tilting his head, his eyes and entire body language asking and needing direction from Matt, he found himself pulling Becker back. "You don't have to do this… why are you doing this?"

"I… I want to."

"Do you really?"

"Oh shut up and show me what to do before I change my mind and right now, I _really_ don't want to change my mind."

The smile was slight but scared. Becker was shaking and so Matt did what he thought was right. He wrapped his arms around Becker's back and pulled him down into another kiss.

Maybe Christmas wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

"So? What's wrong with him?"

Becker snapped out of his stupor at the sound of his sister's voice.

He had blocked out most of the Boxing Day madness ever since he'd sat down, but Haley only brought it all back to the surface. He could hear his dad and brothers arguing about the rugby in the kitchen, music the teenagers were playing boomed through the ceiling and his mum and aunt's laughs pitched ear piercingly high. He never could get used to it.

"What's wrong with your friend, little brother?" Haley nudged him in the side with her elbow. "He's watching that television as if he's never seen one before."

Becker grinned.

Matt was sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, gawping at the cartoons on the television like a big kid. All the other children were sitting around him, the youngest resting his hands and head on Matt's knee.

"He doesn't have a television, Haley."

"The man doesn't have a television? Where's he been living? In the past?"

Becker smirked, hiding it behind his hand _Quite the opposite, actually. _

"That doesn't matter! He is adorable, Hill. I'm glad you brought him round."

"Don't you dare try anything with him!"

His sister laughed and grabbed hold of his arm to give it a squeeze.

"I'm your sister you daft sod, I'm not stupid! Hilary… have you finally cottoned on then?"

"To what?"

"That you've always thought of Matt as more than a friend, pillock! It was so obvious with the way you behaved around him! You didn't realise it when you were here yesterday, even after you made a scene like you did. We were all fine to accept your denials, but it was kind of sad to see how it was affecting Matt. But you took him home and found out! You finally caught on!"

"Haley!"

"You two slept together as well, didn't you?"

Becker opened his mouth to say something, to deny it and to say that she was being utterly ridiculous but he couldn't. All he could do was grin more, especially when he saw the confused expression on Matt's face as he tried to understand the concept of cartoon furniture that could talk.

"Can I give you some sisterly advice, Hill?"

Becker had zoned out again watching Matt. He looked back to his sister and nodded.

Things were eerily quiet. Only the sound of the T.V and the laughter of the children could be heard.

"Next time you borrow one of his shirts, little brother, use one that hides those bite marks on your neck!"

When the rest of his family, who had been listening in, started laughing, Becker decided at that precise moment, that Christmas was the worst holiday ever. He was never going to celebrate it again.


End file.
